Fear the Unknown

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  Jimmy Fallon (on marriage)

(Source: camilledope, via sexiiblackbelt)


aflockofseagulls:

let’s play a game called “how much of this homework can i do in school tomorrow”

(Source: armisael, via lizziethekhaleesi)

Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them

"suck my dick" ok

“bite me” hell yeah

"kiss my ass" sure

(Source: shrimpfur, via x0kelliann)

bizarrest:

I imagine potential scenarios of tomorrow’s events before i fall asleep

(via stand)

ashestoashesjc:

I regret nearly everything I did between the ages of birth and however old I was yesterday. 

(via trust)

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

(via blamket)

Romeo:I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
Juliet:I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
--
Romeo:We should kiss right now at this party
Juliet:No that is a super dumb idea
Romeo:*kisses her anyway*
Juliet:That was dumb of you
--
Romeo:We should get married right now
Juliet:We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
Romeo:Like tomorrow?
Juliet:Sure, fine.
--
Juliet:We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
Romeo:Right.
Romeo:It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
--
Juliet:Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
Romeo:*immediately kills himself*
Juliet:For fucks sake.